Morning Coffee: A.I.S.

Healing HeartAnyone who’s a fan of “Everybody Loves Raymond” is familiar with the term A.I.S. It means “ass in seat” and was how Frank Barone raised his two sons. If he said “we’re leaving at 9:00, A.I.S.” you better be sitting in the car by 9:00 or you’d be left behind. Raymond tried this with his wife, Deborah, when she habitually kept him waiting. Invited to attend an important industry dinner, Raymond did not want to be late. He set the time and told her to be in the car and ready, A.I.S., or he would leave without her. The night in question arrives. Raymond’s downstairs, pacing, groaning, checking his watch. Finally, unable to stand it one minute longer, he leaves. Meanwhile, Deborah is upstairs getting ready for the party. She checks her watch and proudly announces to herself that she’s ready with minutes to spare. She stops for one last look in the mirror. Deciding she has plenty of time, she picks up her hot curling brush to tweak an errant curl. As always happens when you’re in a hurry, it gets twisted in her hair and she can’t get it out. She tries and tries until it’s too late. Raymond left without her. She’s furious and, of course, a fight ensues when he arrives home. Raymond seeks his father’s backing only to learn Frank never dared to A.I.S. his wife!

A.I.S. became a favorite saying among “Raymond” fans everywhere. And while it’s funny in a television sitcom, it’s unlikely to turn out well for anyone who actually tries it with a loved one.

The one time it can work, though, is when you have to make a deadline. Whether that be for school or work, it isn’t going to get done unless you A.I.S. yourself. That’s the first piece of advice we give when someone asks how we manage to finish writing a whole book. Sit yourself down and force yourself to write. Even if you’re afraid it’s trash, just keep writing. You can fix it later. That’s what the revision process is all about.

That’s what I’m doing right now. I needed to come up with something for this blog posting and was having a terrible time. I took time away from my computer to refresh my brain. I watched television, played hours of Candy Crush and Words With Friends, and surprisingly (not!) couldn’t come up with a single idea. So I sat myself down in front of my computer, told myself “A.I.S., girl”, and it came to me. A.I.S.!

Now, if I could only ignore email and Facebook and work on my book.

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